The Crypto-Alphabet in Verse
(Descriptions in it are quite terse)
[NB - Metre varies from stanza to stanza]
A The Almasty is full of pep,
It frolics on the Russian steppe
And if to Daghestan you flew
You'd find Almasties down there too.
B The Bigfoot in the Forests lives,
It has an Awful Stench.
I would not join a Bigfoot who
Was sitting on a bench.
C The Chupacabras sucks the blood
Of goats; he's seldom sated
And, when he's finished with the goat
It is exsanguinated.
D The Dobharchu's a giant otter.
You should watch it pounce.
It has a lengthy Irish name
Few people can pronounce.
E The Ezox was a giant fish
Which in the Danube flourished
And people wondered at its size
Perhaps 'twas over-nourished.
F The Filey Monster was observed
And it, as far as I'm aware,
Has not been seen no more.
G The Gob Monster will much annoy
The miners up in Illinois
For, when the miners' lights go out,
It will attack, if it's about.
H The Herrington Lake Monster
You'll see if you're lucky
In Herrington Lake
Which is in Kentucky.
I The Igopogo lives in Lake Simcoe,
That's in the province of Ontario.
J The Jersey Devil, if accounts are true,
Looks somewhat like a flying kangaroo.
K I fear the Kongamato! It's a beast
That looks as if it likes a grisly feast.
It has the aspect of a pterosaur
And wallows (I suspect) in blood and gore.
L The Loch Ness Monster that dwells in Loch Ness
Swims in the water with extreme finesse.
M Point Pleasant, West Virginia, is where
You'll see the Mothman gliding through the air.
N The Nandi Bear, accounts of which perused
By me, have left me totally confused.
O The Ogopogo several people saw.
It's now protected by Canadian Law.
P The Phoenix is a bird of gold and red
And rises from its ashes, it is said.
Q The Questing Beast was chased by Pellinore,
Who then was slain, so chased the Beast no more.
R Of the Red Horse Lake Monster it is said
Its tubes to breathe are mounted on its head.
S The Serpent of the Stormy Seas, I feel,
May nothing be but an Enormous Eel.
T The Thunderbird can carry off a whale.
I'm told that this will make the whale quite pale.
U How many people chased the Unicorn
Attempting to procure its wondrous horn.
And reader, you, if you a virgin be,
Can Unicorns approach quite easily.
V The Velue is a hairy creature.
That is its most outstanding feature.
W The Werewolf may purloin a hen or pullet,
But you can kill him with a silver bullet,
So then, if from a Werewolf you're in danger,
At once for help enlist the bold Lone Ranger.
X The Chinese wildman is known as the Xeren,
In other parts of China called the Yeren.
Y In Himalayan Mountains lives the Yeti.
I wonder if it ever eats spaghetti.
Professor Sykes, with academic flair,
Proclaims it's not an ape, it is a bear.
Z The Zeegangsa, a monster of the sea,
Is friendly and will not eat you or me.
Yeti, perhaps about to seize hapless wanderer.