At the beginning of the 21st Century monsters still roam the remote, and sometimes not so remote, corners of our planet. It is our job to search for them. The Centre for Fortean Zoology [CFZ] is - we believe - the largest professional, scientific and full-time organisation in the world dedicated to cryptozoology - the study of unknown animals. Since 1992 the CFZ has carried out an unparalleled programme of research and investigation all over the world. Since 2009 we have been running the increasingly popular CFZ Blog Network, and although there has been an American branch of the CFZ for over ten years now, it is only now that it has a dedicated blog.

Thursday, 22 March 2018


Granpaw and the Bear

A traditional hillbilly ditty.


My Granpaw was a hillbilly who lived out in the sticks.
He hadn't changed his underwear since 1896.
For forty generations all his kin had been inbred.
That's why folks said my Granpaw was peculiar in the head.

He couldn't read, he couldn't write, he was no good at figgers,
But he'd drink moonshine every night until he got the jiggers.
His boots were made of gator hide, of skunk fur were his pants.
The fur was on the inside so they'd itch him till he'd dance.

Now, one time in the forest Granpaw met a grizzly bear.
I won't go into what he then did in his underwear.
But Granpaw was resourceful and so up a tree he shinned.
The bear came climbing after him, with murdrous fangs he grinned.

The bear climbed up the tree trunk where my Granpaw it had led.
With one great bite the critter then bit off my Granpaw's head.
Then Granpaw went all shivery and limp - please do not scoff:
It's hard to be heeroic when yore head's been bitten off.

There was a most horrendous thump when he fell to the ground.
The echo of his tumble, it reverberated round.
We buried him beneath the tree.  A simple stone stands there.
Beneath you'll find his skellington, still in his underwear.

The above masterpiece is copyright.

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