Sunday, 2 February 2014

A CRYPTO ALPHABET IN VERSE

The Crypto-Alphabet in Verse
(Descriptions in it are quite terse)

[NB - Metre varies from stanza to stanza]

A  The Almasty is full of pep,
     It frolics on the Russian steppe
     And if to Daghestan you flew
     You'd find Almasties down there too.

B  The Bigfoot in the Forests lives,
     It has an Awful Stench.
     I would not join a Bigfoot who
     Was sitting on a bench.

C  The Chupacabras sucks the blood
     Of goats; he's seldom sated
     And, when he's finished with the goat
     It is exsanguinated.

D  The Dobharchu's a giant otter.
     You should watch it pounce.
     It has a lengthy Irish name
     Few people can pronounce.

E  The Ezox was a giant fish
     Which in the Danube flourished
     And people wondered at its size
     Perhaps 'twas over-nourished.

F  The Filey Monster was observed
     In 1934.
     And it, as far as I'm aware,
     Has not been seen no more.

G  The Gob Monster will much annoy
      The miners up in Illinois
      For, when the miners' lights go out,
      It will attack, if it's about.

H  The Herrington Lake Monster
      You'll see if you're lucky
      In Herrington Lake
      Which is in Kentucky.

I    The Igopogo lives in Lake Simcoe,
      That's in the province of Ontario.

J  The Jersey Devil, if accounts are true,
     Looks somewhat like a flying kangaroo.

K  I fear the Kongamato!  It's a beast
     That looks as if it likes a grisly feast.
     It has the aspect of a pterosaur
     And wallows (I suspect) in blood and gore.

L  The Loch Ness Monster that dwells in Loch Ness
     Swims in the water with extreme finesse.

M  Point Pleasant, West Virginia, is where
      You'll see the Mothman gliding through the air.

N  The Nandi Bear, accounts of which perused
     By me, have left me totally confused.

O  The Ogopogo several people saw.
      It's now protected by Canadian Law.

P  The Phoenix is a bird of gold and red
     And rises from its ashes, it is said.

Q  The Questing Beast was chased by Pellinore,
      Who then was slain, so chased the Beast no more.

R  Of the Red Horse Lake Monster it is said
     Its tubes to breathe are mounted on its head.

S  The Serpent of the Stormy Seas, I feel,
     May nothing be but an Enormous Eel.

T  The Thunderbird can carry off a whale.
     I'm told that this will make the whale quite pale.

U  How many people chased the Unicorn
     Attempting to procure its wondrous horn.
     And reader, you, if you a virgin be,
     Can Unicorns approach quite easily.

V  The Velue is a hairy creature.
     That is its most outstanding feature.

W  The Werewolf may purloin a hen or pullet,
      But you can kill him with a silver bullet,
      So then, if from a Werewolf you're in danger,
      At once for help enlist the bold Lone Ranger.

X  The Chinese wildman is known as the Xeren,
     In other parts of China called the Yeren.

Y  In Himalayan Mountains lives the Yeti.
     I wonder if it ever eats spaghetti.
     Professor Sykes, with academic flair,
     Proclaims it's not an ape, it is a bear.

Z  The Zeegangsa, a monster of the sea,
     Is friendly and will not eat you or me.
      











Yeti, perhaps about to seize hapless wanderer.     

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